I was completely blown away after salsa tonight. I was getting ready to leave when David, the man who organizes and makes the salsa series at Splash happen each summer, pulled me over and said, "Come here, I want to talk to you." I immediately thought it was something bad, even though I had no reason to believe so.
I wish I could have recorded what this man said to me in the next several minutes. I can't remember his words verbatim, but basically he had taken me aside to tell me how impressed he is by my dancing, how much he loves watching me dance, and how happy he was at my being there. He met me toward the end of last summer, when I was just beginning to learn salsa, and I was still very shaky and lacking in confidence in my abilities. Tonight he said that I've just blossomed and that I am one of the rare dancers who comes along to salsa and really dances. "So many people take classes and learn the dance, and they're very good but they're very stylized. It takes a good teacher to crack that shell and bring out the real dancer. You're one of those cracked shells." Those may not be his exact words, but everything he said really struck me. I kept thanking him but he kept saying, "I'm not joking, I want to make sure you really see me here and see what I'm saying."
I just couldn't get over it. I've never been a dancer, I've never been truly comfortable in my own skin, I've never had an easy time with letting myself and my body be seen. Dance challenges all of this in me. But it's very healthy for me. I know I've certainly improved in my salsa dancing since last summer, but it's still been less than a year and I still find myself not knowing what the heck I'm doing sometimes. So it's really shocking that someone would specifically single me out and take the time to speak such wonderful words about my dancing.
But what struck me the most was when David said, taking my hand and looking me in the eyes, "I believe in you." Inside, I could have cried. I can't express what this phrase means to me. I have struggled so much in my lifetime, on so many levels, with self-confidence and faith that I can really do things and be somebody in this world. I have known so many letdowns, setbacks, and failures with all kinds of things I've tried to accomplish, and one of the things I always felt I needed was to know that someone, anyone, believed in me. I have so many gifts I want to share with the world and I know that I need to believe in myself first, but I also need to know that what I do makes a difference in the eyes of others.
Tonight I felt appreciated. I felt that I mattered, that I belong at salsa, that I have grown in another art form so beautiful and captivating not only inside my heart, but in a way that emanates and is visible to others. David said that I am not like others who dance and don't pay attention to what's going on around them; he said that when I hear a song I love, it shows, because my body starts to interpret the music on its own. I knew he was saying exactly what I experience. I'm not just a dancer -- I'm a singer first, so music already has an enormous impact on me, wherever I go. I don't dance salsa just because I want to move my body. I dance because I LOVE Spanish and I LOVE Latin music. It's already settled in my heart, it feels natural, it feels like home. I love singing in Spanish, and I love the way I feel when I listen to Latin music. It arouses the real Latina in me, the colorful person I am, and the beauty I feel within the world. It's like being in a fairytale for a night -- feeling like a princess with nothing but the magic of music and the light it brings.
I am a wholesome young woman with strong passions and dreams. I only want to get better and better. I want others to share my hope and my childlike fascinations with art. I want to be lovely and authentic at every age. I want to never give up, never stop believing in myself. I am so blessed to have salsa dancing be such a huge part of my life nowadays. I'm so happy I started taking lessons last year and that I've stuck with it. I haven't always been consistent but I know for sure that salsa will always be in my heart. This wonderful dance brings me so much closer to the woman I dream of being: vibrant, rich in life, multicultural, and joyful.
