I'm going to let Ed take the reins for a while. Things feel like they're going downhill again, so in a sick way I love letting Ed sweep in and rescue me in the meantime. It's nice to let somebody else be in control.
I'm surprised I haven't written more entries this year. The year is ending and so is my endurance. I'm running out of a lot of things right now.
I had a nice time at the Adoration chapel today. It was sunny outside and I felt the warmth through the large windows. I prayed a whole rosary, mostly in Spanish. I still have to learn the Glory Be, Oh My Jesus, and Hail, Holy Queen in Spanish. And I have to learn the mysteries. But it was a peaceful afternoon. When I'm in that chapel, it doesn't matter that my life is not together yet. I'm there with Jesus and no one is there to judge me. I can come with all my crap and just be.
I want it to take me quickly. This time seven years ago, I was already further along than I am now. I'm just being lazy - I know I'm capable of much more. But I suddenly feel like I want to just keep going down, down, down. It's lovely to meet my bones again. He tells me they make me stronger than the rest. Their contours and hardness show a strength only few know. They make me special.
This time, I should document some of it. I need to leave images behind. It still annoys me that I don't have many good ones from last time. This amount of intensity can't go unsaved.
I appreciate layers. I won't let it be like last time. I will not be looking ahead to the summer. I will be just fine.
Monday, November 16, 2015
Friday, October 2, 2015
Francis in Philly! A Papal Pilgrimage
This was the third pilgrimage I've been on. Mexico City, Quebec, and now Philadelphia. Wow. I am slowly becoming a pilgrimage addict. I wish I could do this full-time!! It is the best way to feel fully connected with my faith and humanity. Prayer, Mass, fellowship, service, travel...it doesn't get much better than that!
I can't even begin to describe what the city was like during my weekend... I mean, for once, finally, the secular world seemed to be open to and accepting of Catholicism. Everyone had smiles on their faces and didn't mind meeting new people and asking where their neighbor in line was from. City employees, be they police officers, public transit workers, crossing guards, National Guard officers, everyone seemed excited and truly welcoming. They seemed respectful, helpful, and even loving. As one of the UVM students in our group said, it felt like we had entered some strange utopia. And that is exactly what it was like. My utopia would be a world where I can openly and publicly be Catholic without worrying about being chastised in any way. My utopia is where I can offer someone a rosary and they will take it, instead of rejecting it with a nasty comment. It is a beautiful world when people are neighborly, loving, friendly, welcoming, helpful, smiling, and treat everyone around them as their brother or sister in Christ.
We served homeless men and women on the streets of Philadelphia over two days, organized by a group from Atlanta called Love and Serve. It was so heartbreaking to see just how many people are living like this, miserable and without shelter. It's inhumane. No one deserves that. They all have stories to tell. They are human beings of varying generations but of the same value that all human lives hold. God loves them all. I was happy to be part of a group passing out shoes, clothing, food, toiletries, and other basic necessities. But it struck me how difficult it was to approach them. I don't feel I did very much. I was awkward and uncomfortable. I didn't want them to think that I thought I was somehow better than them. I just want people to know that I want to be their friend. Nevertheless, I was also surprised to see how the people we served opened up to us and spoke honestly. Some were shy and uncomfortable, but others just seemed eager to talk and share their stories and their lives with us. It was beautiful. But I personally want to be better at this kind of outreach. I want to touch people's lives and truly serve in a meaningful way.
On Friday morning, we headed to the city (via trolley, walking, subway, more walking, and I think another subway), where we joined other volunteers from different parishes at St. Andrew's Lithuanian Church (which actually does hold Masses in Lithuanian!) for Mass and the initial orientation/introduction to the service weekend. And Christopher West was there! He gave us a very moving talk about making our hearts more in line with God's law, rather than trying to change the laws in order to fit our personal will. He said that we are free from the law (i.e. "rules") when we have no desire to break it. I thought that was quite brilliant.
Our mission for the day was to consecrate the area of the Papal visit by walking around it and praying, giving out rosaries, and collecting prayer requests from random strangers we stopped to chat with. The first person my small group met was Marvin, a disabled veteran in his sixties who was entirely open, friendly, and positive-minded. He admitted he had made many mistakes in his life and that it is a blessing for him to still be alive, even though he has many needs and ailments. It was such a lovely feeling to have all of us surrounding this man on a busy main street in Philadelphia, where the energy and anticipation of Pope Francis' arrival could easily be seen and felt.
Later in the afternoon, after saying a Divine Mercy Chaplet and grabbing some coffee from Dunkin' Donuts (we had been up since around 5:30 a.m.!) we visited the actual body of Saint Maria Goretti at Saint John the Evangelist Church. It's part of the Pilgrimage of Mercy Tour of the Major Relics of St. Maria Goretti. Her story is amazing and I love how she is being honored. (Click on my hyperlinks to read more.) There was a huge line outside the church so we had to wait a while to get in, but it was totally worth it. In the meantime, street vendors were selling T-shirts, buttons, Vatican City flags, and all sorts of Papal paraphernalia. And that was going on the entire weekend. I have never seen so much Catholic-ness in one place before. It was quite a sight! But I loved it. And I still cherish having experienced that.
We knew Saturday was going to be a long day because of our mission service followed by an evening of the Festival of Families with the pope, so Father Jon let us sleep in so we could have our own private Mass at the hotel, instead of traveling into the city for Mass with the large group at the Lithuanian parish. So all 24 of us packed into Father's hotel room (no joke!) and created a major fire hazard not only with our bodies but also by placing our altar with lit candles against the door. But you gotta love these little details... I mean, you only experience this stuff while on pilgrimage! The Mass was beautiful because it was organic and original. For the Prayers of the Faithful, Father let us spontaneously offer any intentions we had. It felt very sincere.
Our mission for the day was to bring a TON of donated goods to the homeless and minister to them at the same time. We spent some time at the Lithuanian church organizing the donations, then we each grabbed what we could and started the trek. I had my personal backpack on my back, a drawstring pack full of rosaries on my front, and a huge plastic garbage bag full of large men's shoes. It was a challenge carrying all of that, but I later realized how worthwhile it was, too. We found this one street in particular that was just full of homeless people. It broke my heart. I was glad to be able to use my Spanish, though, when we met a man from Honduras. As our group dispersed among the homeless men and women along the street and adjacent alleyway, our yellow T-shirts illuminated the place. In addition to basic necessities, we handed out rosaries and prayer cards, listened to these people's stories, and offered to pray with them. I wish something like this could be a regular occurrence.
One man had a deformed leg but was especially friendly. When we asked what had happened, he said it had been crushed in a compactor. The man has had 21 surgeries and still needs at least two more on other parts of his body. "When was that?" I asked of his accident. "Oh...back in '92." He said that in his initial surgeries the doctors took muscle from his abdomen and put it on his leg. When that didn't work, they took muscle from higher up on his chest. How this man must suffer! I thought. He can walk, but just imagine having that kind of physical pain and needing all those surgeries on top of being homeless.
Saturday evening was the Festival of Families. Mark Wahlberg was the host for the evening. Before the Pope came on stage, there were lots of performances by musicians and even standup comedy by Jim Gaffigan. When darkness fell, we found our place to sit and waited for the Pope to come on stage. His speech was beautiful, of course - all about the family and how love conquers all, basically. So many more amazing musical acts followed, Aretha Franklin, Andrea Bocelli, and Juanes!!!!! (I absolutely freaked out when Juanes was announced.) It was almost too much to take in. We stayed for most of the music after Pope Francis left the stage (he said, "See you at Mass tomorrow," and then turned around and asked someone what time Mass was, to which everyone cracked up). As we headed back to find the subway, the dome of the cathedral was illuminated with some projected images, and then we heard a loud noise. "Fireworks!" someone said. Sure enough, I turned around and there was a huge finale round of exploding fireworks in the sky, coming from where the Pope had just spoken. I was blown away.
I can't even begin to describe what the city was like during my weekend... I mean, for once, finally, the secular world seemed to be open to and accepting of Catholicism. Everyone had smiles on their faces and didn't mind meeting new people and asking where their neighbor in line was from. City employees, be they police officers, public transit workers, crossing guards, National Guard officers, everyone seemed excited and truly welcoming. They seemed respectful, helpful, and even loving. As one of the UVM students in our group said, it felt like we had entered some strange utopia. And that is exactly what it was like. My utopia would be a world where I can openly and publicly be Catholic without worrying about being chastised in any way. My utopia is where I can offer someone a rosary and they will take it, instead of rejecting it with a nasty comment. It is a beautiful world when people are neighborly, loving, friendly, welcoming, helpful, smiling, and treat everyone around them as their brother or sister in Christ.
We served homeless men and women on the streets of Philadelphia over two days, organized by a group from Atlanta called Love and Serve. It was so heartbreaking to see just how many people are living like this, miserable and without shelter. It's inhumane. No one deserves that. They all have stories to tell. They are human beings of varying generations but of the same value that all human lives hold. God loves them all. I was happy to be part of a group passing out shoes, clothing, food, toiletries, and other basic necessities. But it struck me how difficult it was to approach them. I don't feel I did very much. I was awkward and uncomfortable. I didn't want them to think that I thought I was somehow better than them. I just want people to know that I want to be their friend. Nevertheless, I was also surprised to see how the people we served opened up to us and spoke honestly. Some were shy and uncomfortable, but others just seemed eager to talk and share their stories and their lives with us. It was beautiful. But I personally want to be better at this kind of outreach. I want to touch people's lives and truly serve in a meaningful way.
On Friday morning, we headed to the city (via trolley, walking, subway, more walking, and I think another subway), where we joined other volunteers from different parishes at St. Andrew's Lithuanian Church (which actually does hold Masses in Lithuanian!) for Mass and the initial orientation/introduction to the service weekend. And Christopher West was there! He gave us a very moving talk about making our hearts more in line with God's law, rather than trying to change the laws in order to fit our personal will. He said that we are free from the law (i.e. "rules") when we have no desire to break it. I thought that was quite brilliant.
Our mission for the day was to consecrate the area of the Papal visit by walking around it and praying, giving out rosaries, and collecting prayer requests from random strangers we stopped to chat with. The first person my small group met was Marvin, a disabled veteran in his sixties who was entirely open, friendly, and positive-minded. He admitted he had made many mistakes in his life and that it is a blessing for him to still be alive, even though he has many needs and ailments. It was such a lovely feeling to have all of us surrounding this man on a busy main street in Philadelphia, where the energy and anticipation of Pope Francis' arrival could easily be seen and felt.
Later in the afternoon, after saying a Divine Mercy Chaplet and grabbing some coffee from Dunkin' Donuts (we had been up since around 5:30 a.m.!) we visited the actual body of Saint Maria Goretti at Saint John the Evangelist Church. It's part of the Pilgrimage of Mercy Tour of the Major Relics of St. Maria Goretti. Her story is amazing and I love how she is being honored. (Click on my hyperlinks to read more.) There was a huge line outside the church so we had to wait a while to get in, but it was totally worth it. In the meantime, street vendors were selling T-shirts, buttons, Vatican City flags, and all sorts of Papal paraphernalia. And that was going on the entire weekend. I have never seen so much Catholic-ness in one place before. It was quite a sight! But I loved it. And I still cherish having experienced that.
We knew Saturday was going to be a long day because of our mission service followed by an evening of the Festival of Families with the pope, so Father Jon let us sleep in so we could have our own private Mass at the hotel, instead of traveling into the city for Mass with the large group at the Lithuanian parish. So all 24 of us packed into Father's hotel room (no joke!) and created a major fire hazard not only with our bodies but also by placing our altar with lit candles against the door. But you gotta love these little details... I mean, you only experience this stuff while on pilgrimage! The Mass was beautiful because it was organic and original. For the Prayers of the Faithful, Father let us spontaneously offer any intentions we had. It felt very sincere.
Our mission for the day was to bring a TON of donated goods to the homeless and minister to them at the same time. We spent some time at the Lithuanian church organizing the donations, then we each grabbed what we could and started the trek. I had my personal backpack on my back, a drawstring pack full of rosaries on my front, and a huge plastic garbage bag full of large men's shoes. It was a challenge carrying all of that, but I later realized how worthwhile it was, too. We found this one street in particular that was just full of homeless people. It broke my heart. I was glad to be able to use my Spanish, though, when we met a man from Honduras. As our group dispersed among the homeless men and women along the street and adjacent alleyway, our yellow T-shirts illuminated the place. In addition to basic necessities, we handed out rosaries and prayer cards, listened to these people's stories, and offered to pray with them. I wish something like this could be a regular occurrence.
One man had a deformed leg but was especially friendly. When we asked what had happened, he said it had been crushed in a compactor. The man has had 21 surgeries and still needs at least two more on other parts of his body. "When was that?" I asked of his accident. "Oh...back in '92." He said that in his initial surgeries the doctors took muscle from his abdomen and put it on his leg. When that didn't work, they took muscle from higher up on his chest. How this man must suffer! I thought. He can walk, but just imagine having that kind of physical pain and needing all those surgeries on top of being homeless.
Saturday evening was the Festival of Families. Mark Wahlberg was the host for the evening. Before the Pope came on stage, there were lots of performances by musicians and even standup comedy by Jim Gaffigan. When darkness fell, we found our place to sit and waited for the Pope to come on stage. His speech was beautiful, of course - all about the family and how love conquers all, basically. So many more amazing musical acts followed, Aretha Franklin, Andrea Bocelli, and Juanes!!!!! (I absolutely freaked out when Juanes was announced.) It was almost too much to take in. We stayed for most of the music after Pope Francis left the stage (he said, "See you at Mass tomorrow," and then turned around and asked someone what time Mass was, to which everyone cracked up). As we headed back to find the subway, the dome of the cathedral was illuminated with some projected images, and then we heard a loud noise. "Fireworks!" someone said. Sure enough, I turned around and there was a huge finale round of exploding fireworks in the sky, coming from where the Pope had just spoken. I was blown away.
Sunday was truly a Sabbath - no work, just all our focus went to the Papal Mass. We did not end up able to go back to the area where the Mass would actually be said because of the insane lines. Instead, we found a place on the street where we could comfortably watch it on screen (a Jumbotron, I learned they are called). Unfortunately, on this last day of our trip, there were some people trying to oppose the Pope and the whole Church, I'm sure. They protested with signs and speeches, but thankfully I was able to walk right by and didn't see any violence. But still, I was annoyed that this had to happen on Sunday, and especially on the day of the long-awaited Papal Mass. It felt extremely disrespectful. But, as I have personally had to learn on several occasions, people who stand in opposition to the Church are most often not interested in respecting it.
Since we couldn't receive Communion through a Jumbotron, we had to leave our spot right before Communion to receive it back at the Lithuanian church, where a private Mass was being said for us, basically. We left immediately after that Mass to go back to the Papal one and made it back just in time for the final blessing. I've been to two Masses on the same Sunday before, but I think this was the first time I could say I attended two Masses in the span of two hours.
There are so many more details I could include, but I wanted to write this as a basic record of my special weekend for Francis in Philly, so I can look back on it with love and be able to share some of my experience with you as well.
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